my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
