shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
