guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
