I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We are two peas in an std pod
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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