I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize