My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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