he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
