White coat. Heels.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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