Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
