Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
farters have to be the big spoon...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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