I have demons in me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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