I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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