okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
