Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
