so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
