I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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