Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
