...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
