I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
