So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
