She said her name was "party"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
