I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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