If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
