Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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