I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
