Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
