there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
