i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
