Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
