i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
