I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We smell like vodka and hangover
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