3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
