Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
