Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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