and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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