I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
