we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize