You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
