at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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