Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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