We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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