Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
