I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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