I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
