Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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