2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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