We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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