It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
