He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
