everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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