And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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