You smell like stripper and shame
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
