I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
