Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
