You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
