Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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