I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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