You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
