Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
