Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
