dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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