Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize