Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
