Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
